I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
