Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize