There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
someone threw a dead crab at me
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
whose ass print is on the piano?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
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