9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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