she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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