I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I party with great urgency now.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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