Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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