Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize