He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Randomize