i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
