The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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