soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize