Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I'm at about main and main street
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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