but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
