That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize