Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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