I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
