Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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