Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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