I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Randomize
