I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
