I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
