About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
