I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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