Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
