You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Are we still banned from the library?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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