Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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