Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Fuck appropriateness.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
