ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
soo... how was my night?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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