drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
