he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
