so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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