there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize