so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
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