Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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