oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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