just come out here and I will go home with you...
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
