At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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