My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
we're making bets on your personal life
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
