I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
