I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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