I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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