yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
