The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Randomize
