she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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