Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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