Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
