dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
handjob tips. give me some.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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