i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
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