Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
