so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
