I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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