Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
