Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize