Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
