i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize