I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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