i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
