Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
