i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
