Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
