Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
