what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
