with your own penis?
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
