I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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