i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
