you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
