Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
