Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize