she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Don't make out with my wife yet
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I look excited, but its just a facade.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
