she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
