You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
