can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize