I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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