You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
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